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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023463">The Shared Grief of Two Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachesAnnCream/pseuds/PeachesAnnCream'>PeachesAnnCream</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kamisama Hajimemashita | Kamisama Kiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Healing, Rape, Revenge, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:21:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachesAnnCream/pseuds/PeachesAnnCream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Nanami is abducted by Akura-Oh, both Tomoe and Nanami must find a way to heal from the trauma he inflicted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Momozono Nanami/Tomoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Ordinary Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Obligatory: I do not own Kamisama Hajimemashita.  This will be my first ever shot at fan fiction.  I have had writer's block for a very long time due to feeling less than inspired.  This has been a wonderful outlet to push me to write when I had almost given up.  I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akara-Oh sat in his room, the feelings of failure washing over him. How could he lose so many times? Being constantly thwarted by Tomoe had begun to get to very old for him. He hated and loved Tomoe. Loved him, not for any true affection he felt toward the fox, but for the power the two had achieved together. After all, it was Tomoe who was responsible for him being locked away for so long.  </p><p>“Damn this human body!” He screamed out loud.  </p><p>A deep desire overcame him, pulling his lips into a sinister smile. He had wanted revenge on Tomoe, but now that need had turned into an obsession. Akara-Oh began planning the most terrible thing he could for the Fox. He was going to rip happiness away from him in the most brutal way possible. Give him a daily reminder that he would feel in his bones. “Nanami…” he breathed her name in a whisper, chanting it over and over, allowing the euphoric waves of his desire for revenge to wash over him.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Two weeks later at the shrine…  </b>
</p><p>  Nanami woke to an ordinary day with ordinary duties. School was on break so she was able to focus all of her attention on being a land god. Although she had been stretched thin leading her double life, she determined that this was not the time to relax. She wanted to get stronger. She wanted to become a land god Tomoe could proud of. She hated that she always found herself in situations that she could not handle on her own. And she hated that Tomoe always had to save her. </p><p>Not that Nanami was not grateful and deeply in love with him, but it made her sad that he was in a constant state of worry over her. She felt this was one dilemma that held him back from returning her feelings. If she could build her power and rely on him less, he might conclude that he could, contrary to his previous professing, love a human woman. </p><p> Nanami poured over the texts that had been the possessions of the previous land god. Some of it made sense and a large portion did not. In frustration, she pushed herself away from the table leaving the dusty texts behind. She looked back at the confusion on the table, the mess seeming to taunt her. </p><p>  “Ugh! How will I ever get stronger if I can’t even understand texts that were considered basic to other Gods?” She let out a sigh and headed in the direction of her room when a low growl froze her where she stood. “Nanami! Replace the texts before you leave! You can’t expect to learn anything if your surroundings are always in a state of disarray.” Tomoe gave another exasperated growl. </p><p>  Nanami knew she shouldn’t use her binding power. She had promised herself she would no longer subject Tomoe to the sacred binding unless it was life or death. “Clean it up.” She glared at him. With a downtrodden look, he began to stack the texts and when they were neatly arranged in a pile he headed in the direction of the library. Nanami felt a terrible nauseating reaction deep in her gut. She had to escape for just a bit, to find some solitude where she could decompress. She decided that, for the sanity of every inhabitant of the shrine, she was going to sneak away for just a little while. </p><p>By the time Tomoe had made it back to the kitchen, it was empty. He had assumed that the girl had gone to rest in her room so he decided it best to leave her alone for a bit. “A little space will be of some benefit for her spirit.” he thought to himself while starting to prepare dinner. He glanced at the shiitake mushrooms when adding the vegetables to the soup then decided against it. His lady and mistress was down as of late and he wanted to give her no other reason to feel blue. He ran thoughts over in his mind as he prepped the vegetables. </p><p>  He wondered why she had become so belligerent in the past week. His mind traveled to her smile. He had not witnessed a true smile from her in that timeframe. How he missed her carefree nature. He found it annoying in the beginning. It was one of his biggest complaints. Now, he longed for a moment of lightheartedness from her. What joy would he feel to see her brilliant smile and listen to her ramble about whatever idealistic notion she had latched onto? </p><p>  Tomoe sighed and stirred the bubbling liquid. The smell invaded his nostrils and he was pleased with the hearty aroma. “Almost finished.” He admired the dish cooking in the copper pot. He made his way to Nanami’s door. He stood there for a moment wondering if she was sleeping on the other side. He thought of her curled up on her futon. He imagined that she was whispering his name, much like she had done when he had snuck into her room when she attended the divine assembly. </p><p>Tomoe was so deeply in love with her. It hurt deep in his heart that he could not truly return her feelings, that he felt he was holding her back from experiencing love to the fullest. Her life was short after all. She said it could all be one-sided. That her love for him would be enough. She made that proclamation in the Dragon King’s palace after she had chased the eye he stole into the past. That was the day he also had to come to terms with sharing his lady and mistress with that damn snake. He always appeared displeased when the subject was brought up, but he was truly grateful that Mizuki had been there when he had failed to be. Nanami would have lost her soul otherwise and there would be no Lady and Mistress for him to serve. </p><p>  Tomoe gave a tap on the door. “Nanami, dinner is ready.” He listened and did not hear any noise or reply. He knocked again. His knock turned into pounding and finally, he burst into the empty room. A tinge of fear hinted in his lavender eyes, but he stilled it as he went in search of her on the grounds surrounding the shrine. The longer he looked the more he could feel the dread welling up inside of him. Finally, he lost control of his emotions and called on his foxfire. “Go find Nanami!!!” He saw them race in different directions and he hoped that he was overreacting. He felt somewhere deep inside that he was not.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Plan Unfolds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nanami and Tomoe experience a brutal blow by Akura-Oh.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not own Kamisama Hajimemashita. Warning: Graphic violence and rape content in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>   Akuar-Oh had forced Nanami to write ‘AIR” on a white talisman. He knew she would be undetectable and left to his will. He had placed it on her back and bound her up, stringing her arms above her head and tethering her feet to a hook on the floor. The warehouse had been empty for some twenty years. He smiled at his handiwork and began to explain to the Kami a small shadow of the plans he had made for her beloved fox. </p><p>   For one moment he got lost in her chocolate eyes. He could see why Tomoe loved her. <em>"Such a fighting spirit.</em> <em>Shame she doesn’t have the power to match it.”</em> He mused. </p><p>  “Tomoe will come for me!!!” Nanami hissed. </p><p>  “I plan on it, my entire plan hinges on just that.” He laughed. </p><p>  Nanami began to struggle against the binds knowing she could not escape. Akuar-Oh continued to speak, ignoring her struggles. “Nanami, Tomoe will come for you, I am as sure of that as I am that the sun will rise tomorrow. When he arrives to save the woman he loves his world will end!” </p><p>  He pulled Mizuki’s incense burner from a bag. “You see, I have gone to a lot of trouble to acquire this item. I had to enlist some pretty annoying characters to get this out your shrine unnoticed. But, I bore you, so we will save the big reveal for Tomoe’s impending arrival.” He pulled the talisman from her back. “It won’t be long now. His foxfire will find you and I will have him right where I want him.”</p><p>   No more than 30 minutes later a blue flame appeared, swirled around Nanami, and was off into the night. She had screamed to the foxfire. She had warned that it was a trap. Nanami hoped that the foxfire could give her message to Tomoe. She was terrified for him more than herself. He could take no more heartbreak in his life. </p><p> “It won’t be long now!” Akura-Oh revealed a giddy, sharp smile. He began to help his shinigami begin to prepare for something. Nanami watched as he set up some form of ritual, the horror on her face growing. She did not know what the ritual was but she knew it was dangerous. She silently cursed her brain for not being able to retain the knowledge a shrine god should possess. Akuara-Oh poured a circle of liquid in a strange pattern just in front of Nanami. He chanted something and gazed into her eyes taking hold of the fear she felt and multiplying it.     </p><p>  She was helpless once again and this time it might cost Tomoe his life. Tears burned her eyes and the harder she tried to keep them in the harder they fell. Akuara-Oh threw his head back and a throaty laugh emanated from deep inside of him. “Perfect!” He clapped. “Just keep the tears coming and this will be all the sweater.” As hard as Nanami tried she could not quell the wetness in her eyes. </p><p>  She hung her head, a feeling defeat creeping over her, as she began to sob. She needed Tomoe but, at the same time, hoped he would not come. She knew this thought was absurd as he would do anything to protect her. The sobs grew until she could no longer catch her breath. When she looked up Akuara-Oh was gone. “Where did that monster go?” she breathed. Darkness replaced the light that had been there moments ago and Nanami strained her eyes to reach into the black. </p><p>  She caught a hint of blue flame out of the corner of her eye. Panicked screams escaped her throat. “No!!! It’s a trap! Tomoe!” At once Tomoe was standing in front of her with four foxfire surrounding him. “Nanami!” he gasped out her name. “You are safe thank goodness.” His eyes were full of both relief and fear. Nanami began to struggle and scream for him to get away. “Leave!” The word exploded from her throat.</p><p>   Tomoe tried to take a step forward and found he could not move. Fear for his lady and mistress gripped him intensely. Bursts of light began to appear as the shinigami lit lanterns around them. Footsteps echoed behind Tomoe and he could see the horror on Nanami’s face. </p><p>   “Tomoe, how I have missed you!” The words were spoked with no feeling and Akuara-Oh brought his gaze to meet Tomoe’s. Tomoe could hear the shinigami begin a chant. He listened as worry spread across his face. He was powerless to do anything. “Who are you?” Tomoe’s voice grew cold as he held the man with a cold stare.“I will give you a hint Tomoe.We used to burn villages and slaughter humans for fun.“Akuara-Oh?” Tomoe whispered.Tomoe’s fear had grown into terror. The chanting continued for a few minutes and Akura-Oh collapsed on the ground behind them. A shudder ran through Tomoe’s body and he was released from his binds. He looked up at Nanami, stepped toward her, and collapsed.</p><p>
  <b>Inside Tomoe’s head…</b>
</p><p><em>   “A voice.”</em> Tomoe tried to discern where it was coming from but he was surrounded in darkness. It called his name and Tomoe froze. <em>“What trickery is this Akura-Oh?!”</em> Tomoe screamed to into the void. He waited for a response when a face with a spiky red mane appeared before him. The face grinned and laughed while two bloodthirsty eyes bored into Tomoe’s soul. <em>“Now I will let you in on my beautiful revenge Tomoe!”</em> a look of utter joy apparent on Akuara-Oh’s face. <em>“It took some time and planning, but now you will have a front-row seat to everything I have been working for. Your absolute ruin!”</em> </p><p>  Tomoe’s heart constricted as he knew the chant the shinigami uttered had to do with possession and he saw the incense burner belonging to Mizuki before he collapsed. He looked at the yoki with pleading in his eyes. <em>“Please, I beg you Akkara-oh, please let Nanami go.”</em> Tears silently fell down the fox’s cheeks as desperation leaked into his voice. Akaura-Oh exploded with deep laughter as Tomoe pleaded with him. <em>“My how you have fallen Tomoe. It makes me sick!”</em> the yoki snarled. <em>“Let’s do this Tomoe!”</em> </p><p>  Tomoe stirred on the floor in front of Nanami. She was screaming his name over and over again through her tears. The human body possessed by the yoki was laying just behind him still unconscious. <em>“Had his ritual failed”</em> Nanami wondered. Tomoe now stood before her looking into her eyes. She wondered why he just stood there and stared. “Get me down please, Tomoe.” her tone was gentle but commanding. Tomoe responded by releasing her bonds. </p><p>  Nanami sat rubbing her wrists as the feeling began to return. Tomoe was distant and his quietness had begun to unnerve her. Any time she had been in danger before, he would hold her close and whisper his gratitude for her safety in her ear. This Tomoe just stood staring maliciously at her. A shiver crept up her spine and she turned to run from the man she loved. Something was not right. </p><p>  A hand grabbed the back of her hair forcing her the floor. Fear ignited in her eyes as she pleaded with her familiar. “Please Tomoe! What are you doing? Tomoe!!!!” The lavender eyes that stared back at her were not the ones that belonged to her dear familiar. They were laced with deceit and a desire to inflict pain. “Tomoe” her voice came out as a whisper. “Why?” Nanami’s eyes grew in fear as she struggled to escape his grasp. He pinned her to floor and despite using all her strength she was useless against the power of the fox. Her tears were hot and she could do nothing to stop them. </p><p>  He licked the side of her neck causing a shudder to ripple through her. The tears continued to fall as she pleaded with him to stop. Tomoe lifted himself and smiled as he looked at her body. His claws ripped through her white shirt exposing her lacy white bra. Nanami turned her head away so she did not have to look into his eyes. Another flick of his claw and her small round breasts were freed. A whimper escaped her mouth and she tensed all over. Her chest heaved up and down rapidly.</p><p>  She had dreamed of the day when Tomoe would make love to her. That thought was Nanami’s undoing. Violent sobs erupted from her chest as she continued to plead with him. Tomoe took a claw, pressing it into the sensitive flesh of her breast. Crimson streams flowed over milky white skin causing Nanami to cry out in pain. <em>“Nanami!!”</em> Tomoe cried from inside his body. A voice made him cringe in the darkness of his mind. <em>“I told you I would ruin you! Look at her Tomoe! She has no idea I have posses your body. To her, it is you that is inflicting this vile act on her” </em></p><p>  <em>“No!”</em> Tomoe cried out. He could do nothing but watch out of the windows of his eyes as this monster parading in a Tomoe suit violated the love of life. <em>“I am going to make you watch every touch…”</em> Tomoe’s hands grabbed her breasts and and squeezed hard.<em>“Hear every whimper…”</em>He pressed his groin between her legs thrusting up. <em>“Feel how her body breaks beneath your hand.” </em>He grabbed Nanami’s arm, twisting it till there was sicking crack. The sinister laugh coming out of Tomoe’s mouth gave him chills as the horror of their situation began to take hold of him. </p><p>  Akura-Oh continued his assault with a certain satisfaction he had not known in hundreds of years. The power of Tomoe's body was a drug he would gladly partake in. He violently grabbed Nanami’s breast and took her nipple between his teeth. He bit down hard relishing in her screams of pain as blood began to seep out in tiny droplets. He licked the blood from her nipple and gave her an evil grin. “I thought you loved me Nanami?” He cooed as a lover would. </p><p> She found what little fight she had left and freed her unbroken arm as her fist collided with his beautiful face. Akuar-Oh laughed and pinned the offending arm back in place. He reached for the bonds and re-secured her arms, tying them to the hook on the floor that her feet had previously been bound to. “There, that should work wonderfully!” He cooed again in his best Tomoe manner. </p><p>  With Nanami restrained he raked the claws of Tomoe’s hands down her side. He was aware that Tomoe’s body was responding. He had worried it would not. The hardness between his legs was aching to fuck her. He needed to make this last a little while longer though. He straddled Nanami and took great pleasure in the way she struggled to get away from him. He captured her mouth roughly. “You taste so sweet.” He sat up contemplating how to give Tomoe the best show. </p><p>  He smiled and drew a fist back. <em>“Naaanamiii!!! No! Forgive me! I can’t…stop..it.” </em>Tomoe screamed inside as the sicking crush of his fist collided with her face. Akuara-Oh threw Tomoe's head back in laughter. Nanami, dazed from the blow, could only look into Tomoe’s eyes with confusion and hurt. It was killing Tomoe. He could see it all as if he was the one doing all of this to her and it shattered his heart. Akuara-Oh licked the blood from his knuckles, most of it belonging to Nanami. “Delicious” he muttered. </p><p>  He began to leave bites down her side, piercing her sensitive flesh. With each one she cried out in pain and begged him to stop. Those words were horrifying to Tomoe's. “Tomoe! please stop! ahhhh! Tomoe I love you…please don’t hurt me.” Her cries destroyed him and Tomoe was helpless to make it better. He couldn't hold her and whisper that everything would be alright. To Nanami, he was the one assaulting her. </p><p>  He tried to closed his eyes because he could no longer bare to watch his hands causing her pain, his teeth leaving bloody trails along her body. <em>“Look Tomoe!”</em> Akuar-Oh playfully taunted him. <em>“I think it is time to take off her skirt and panties, don’t you?”</em> Tomoe found himself pleading again. <em>“Akura-Oh, it is me you want to punish, please leave Nanami out of this”</em> Tomoe was weeping and begging his former companion. <em>“Destroying her faith in you WILL destroy you Tomoe.”</em> Akurar-Oh’s voice was low and bitter. </p><p> “Now! On with the show!” He ripped Nanami’s skirt and tossed it to the side. The only protection that remained to her was her panties that he was now using one of Tomoe’s claws to slice off. Nanami cried out “Tomoe! If you ever cared for me stop! Please don't hurt me!” The violet eyes that stared into her own were evil. “Quiet he roared in her ear causing her body to shake violently. He landed two more blows with Tomoe's fist. One on her face and one in her stomach. Nanami writhed in pain. It was so intense she thought she might pass out.</p><p>   “No no, sweet Nanami. I need you awake for this. He jostled her regaining her attention. As she laid there, exposed and sobbing, Akuara-Oh sat up pinning her down while he removed Tomoe’s robe. It fell to the ground behind him and he licked his lips as Tomoe’s dick throbbed in excitement. Nanami caught a glance and it was giant. She was still a virgin and didn’t have much to compare it to but it looked unnaturally large. </p><p>  Panic gripped her when Akurara-Oh violently pushed her legs apart. Sobs continued to erupt from her lips as she tried her best to fight back. He smacked her pussy making her cry out in pain. Lowering his head he parted her pink folds with his tongue. When he found her bud he bit down hard causing her to reel from the pain. She bucked her hips in an attempt to push him off of her. <em>“Tomoe, why?”</em> these were the only thoughts left to her. He began licking her clit as the girl laid and whimpered, all the fight gone from her body. He smiled positioning himself at her entrance.   </p><p>  She could feel the head of his hard cock pressing into her making a fresh wave of tears flow. “Get ready!” He yelled with a measure of mirth in his voice that made Nanami’s stomach churn. She felt him ram into her in one thrust. She wailed and struggled against the restraints. The pain was unbearable and it was the love of her life that was causing her such agony. He stopped, Tomoe’s dick buried deep insider of her, licking her fresh tears. “You are so fucking tight.” He growled. <em>“Tomoe, areyou seeing all of this my friend?”</em> the voice in his head laughed. </p><p>  Tomoe was utterly distraught. He wept violently having no words left to utter. Every cry from Nanami’s lips leaving him to feel more broken. Akuara-Oh clamped down on Nanami’s neck, Tomoe's fangs piercing into the delicate flesh. She felt the warmth of the blood tricking down. She no longer had the strength to do anything but slightly whimper at the pain. He sucked at the wound on her neck tasing the blood, enjoying every drop. In a sudden movement, as if he then decided it was time for the finale, he began pounding into her tiny opening rough and hard. </p><p>  Her eyes widened in pain when the first hard thrust had hit her and a small cry escaped her lips. As Akura-Oh continued his brutal assault Nanami became like a limp doll. Detached from her body, she stared out with empty eyes. <em>“YESSSSS!”</em> Akura-Oh screamed inside of Tomoe’s head. <em>“I broke her! See those hollow eyes Tomoe”</em> His orgasm was as violent as everything else he had done to her as he penetrated her deep and released Tomoe’s seed inside of her. He pulled out and sat up looking down at his work. </p><p>  It needed a finishing touch. He landed two more violent blows to her head and she faded out of consciousness. The incense burner extinguished and Tomoe crumpled on the floor beside Nanami. He had no strength to move but reached a shaky hand to her chest. It rose and fell. “Your alive!” he cried. The human body Akuara-Oh had been possessing was gone along with his Shinigami. “Foxfire, bring help.” He muttered as he sent them to the shrine. He used the last of his strength to pull Nanami into his arms as he wept into her soft brown hair. The words were still not there for the horror he felt and grief that welled up inside of him. </p><p><em>  “She thought it was me. The whole time she kept pleading with me to stop. She told me she loved me. Why have I always been so stubborn to return her affections?”</em> Sobs wracked his body as he held her as tight as his strength would allow. <em>“The last thing I did was scold her. That is her last true memory of me.”</em> His eyes widened in fear. “Please don’t die Nanami! I love you. I have always loved you. Even on the roof before I knew I did. Just hang on, please!” </p><p>  He began to shake uncontrollably as his body began to regain some of its strength. Tomoe picked up the discarded skirt and began to dab at the blood that coated Nanami’s face. It wouldn’t come off and he frantically began wiping faster as if getting rid of the blood would somehow mean she would be alright. This was the scene Mizuki and Kurama walked in on. Both Tomoe and Nanami exposed. They could see from the blood between her legs that she had been assaulted. Kurama quickly pulled off his coat and placed it over her. </p><p>   It was at that moment Tomoe became aware of their presence. Mizuki wailed. “What did you do! You bastard! What did you do!" Tomoe sat numb unable to respond. Kurama shook Mizuki by the shoulders pulling him out of his rage. “Do you truly think Tomoe is capable of this brutality? There is something more going here. You take Nanami out to the night carriage and I will help Tomoe.” When Mizuki scooped up Nanami, Tomoe scrambled to keep a hold of her hand. The fear and distress in the fox’s eyes crushed Karuma in a way that was foreign to him. What terrible blow these lovers had been dealt.</p><p>  “Tomoe, we are taking you both home.” His voice was gentle and Tomoe allowed himself to be led behind Mizuki and Nanami. The grim scene of what happened forever etched in his mind. When Mizuki and Kurama had them settled in, the carriage took off. “A word snake.” Mizuki followed the Tengu to the back of the carriage. “We need Mikage. Do you know how we can find him?” Mizuki shook his head, a deep sadness in his eyes. Even Ookuninushi had been unable to locate the former land god during the divine assembly. “Who? How...how did this happen?” Mazuki pleaded. Kurama quickly squeezed Mizuki's hand. “We will uncover the truth behind this. I promise. I owe Nanami and Tomoe so much for liberating my home."</p><p>  To their surprise, Mikage was waiting for them on the porch of the shrine upon their return. He had a deep look of sadness even though he greeted them with a gentle smile. Tomoe had never looked so broken to him. His eyes didn’t even register that Mikage was there. After his 20 year absence, his beloved friend did not even notice his presence. This ordeal was something more tragic than any of this group could manage. </p><p>  “Let’s put them in separate rooms.” He gave a knowing look to Mizuki and Kurama. They both stared at him and he could see the question on their faces. “We will talk once they are out of danger. We are expecting guests as well. Mizuki, can you retrieve the peach pills for Nanami?” Mizuki did not answer but headed in the direction of Nanami’s room hugging her tightly. </p><p>  He felt reality had warped and he would wake up form this terrible dream if he could just will himself to. The peach pills would fix her physical injuries, but he knew the damage done to her soul might never be repaired. His mind shifted to Tomoe. He felt ashamed that he had thought the worst of him. Sure, he always gave Tomoe a hard time but he knew how much he loved Nanami. A tear trailed down his cheek as he realized nothing would ever be the same and he might lose his two best friends. </p><p>  He laid Nanami on the bed and retrieved the peach pills from her dresser. “These were supposed to save Tomoe’s life. How ironic…” he frowned at the bottle as he hurried back to Nanami’s side. He administered them. The effects were usually quick to begin but for all the blood he could not see much of her to tell. Her breathing was becoming less labored and that eased his mind a little. “Onikiri, Kotetsu?” The shrine spirits appeared and in place of their usual weeping, dramatic selves, they were solemn as they looked upon their god. “Watch over her, please. I have to gather first aid.” Mizuki pulled the blanket up around his Kami and felt his heart grow heavier. </p><p>  When he had returned to the living room he was greeted with an even greater heaviness. Tomoe had regained his strength and the realization of what had happened was crashing in waves. Their guests had arrived. It was more like a war party. Ookuninushi, Otohiko, Ikuzagami, and a few others Mizuki did not recognize had gathered in the shrine. They were quick with their response he would give them that. Mizuki watched as Mikage calmed Tomoe so he could access his memory of what had happened. </p><p>  Tomoe was distraught, repeating that he couldn't bear anyone to see, trembling in anguish. Mizuki had a feeling Mikage already had an idea of what happened or he would not have been at the shrine when they returned and this impromptu war party would still be hours away from assembling. “I need to see, Tomoe. There may be some clue in your memory that we can use. Perhaps we can find out how Akura-Oh was able to manage something that should be impossible and figure out where he might have gone.” </p><p>  Tomoe looked at Mikage with rage in his eyes. “It wasn’t me Mikage. It was as if I was watching from inside myself.” He trembled all over. “But I could sense everything.” he choked out. “I could feel my fists landing on her face, my teeth biting into her neck, the taste of iron as her blood flowed down my throat, the moment I….I” Tomoe trailed off and everyone knew what followed. “…I raped her!” he whispered, the torment contorting his face. Mikage leaned in and pressed his forehead to Tomoe’s. “Just breath Tomoe.” </p><p>  Mikage reached into to Tomoe’s mind. 20 minutes later he had the complete gruesome picture. He was shaken by the brutality of what he saw, but he remained calm for Tomoe. He could hear the inner dialog between Akura-Oh and Tomoe and it sent his heart in splinters. He fought back tears each time he heard Nanami's anguished cries. <em>“What these two have endured there may be no way back for them” </em>He pulled at the fabric of hope that he was wrong.He would never be more elated to be wrong than right at this moment. Mikage was able to figure out how Akura-Oh used the time turning incense burner to achieve the possession of Tomoe’s body. He was not sure where he had acquired them, but he had the blood from gods of the four elements. He then used an incantation to trap Tomoe in the circle and freeze time instead of going back in it. The details were not clear but at this moment it did not matter. He was able to see the human form that Akura-Oh was using and that would prove more than helpful. </p><p>  When Mikage had finished Tomoe was begging to see Nanami. “You may go see her for a short time but you need to keep it brief. Remember, in her mind, this assault was carried out by you. She will understand once she truly comes back to herself, but we need to handle her with the utmost care when she wakes.” Tomoe’s stomach tied itself in more knots. He knew she thought it was him because it was his name she was uttering in her desperate pleas for him to stop.</p><p>   “I am going with you to lock that filth away for good.” A determined looked cemented on his face. Mikage just sighed and looked at his dear friend. “We have to talk strategy first and we will do nothing until we are sure we have him where we want him. You should try to rest” he gave Tomoe’s hand a reassuring squeeze. </p><p> </p><p>   “How did you know what was going on, Mikage?” Karuma questioned. A look of an even deeper sadness crossed Mikage’s face. “News traveled through the underworld and Ookuninushi’s grandmother alerted him to the plot Akuara-Oh had conceived. Unfortunately, we found out too late to stop it from happening. Otohiko, can you tend to Nanami?” He gave a weak smile to his friend. “Oh, Hunny, I have you covered.” Otohiko gave Mikage a wink, relieved Mizuki of the first aid kit, and headed off in the direction of Nanami’s room. Mikage knew that out of all of them Nanami would feel the safest with him. “Now we strategize.” Mikage motioned for the remaining members to take a seat.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Tomoe's Guilt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nanami wakes unexpectedly to Tomoe by her futon. She is hysterical and Tomoe is crushed. Kurama does his best to calm the fox.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not own kamisama hajimemashita.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>    Tomoe had not left his room since he came unraveled at Nanami’s bedside. She had still been unconscious. The effects of the peach pills yet to completely heal her injuries when he had made his way to her room after Mikage allowed him a brief visit with her. Otohiko had washed all the blood away and placed Nanami in a light blue t-shirt and striped pajama pants. The carnage on her face had not been erased yet. The moment he beheld his beautiful Kami in such a state he shivered. He sat on the edge of her futon and lightly brushed the bangs from her forehead. Tomoe gently ran the back his hand down her cheek feeling the heat from her injuries.  Otohiko remained seated on the opposite side of the futon, observing the fox with his soulmate. “None of this was your fault Tomoe. You know that deep inside already.” Tomoe’s wet eyes met Otohiko’s. “I haven’t a clue how to repair this damage.” Tomoe’s voice was small. “Honey, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you will both find your way back. Mikage and I will not leave till that time. Tomoe, if you continue to shoulder any blame for what happened it will make the road back tediously long, dear. She is going to need your strength.” Otohiko flashed a small smile. <br/>   </p><p>    Tomoe knew what had happened in the warehouse was not in his control, but he had failed to protect her from being abducted. None of this would have happened if he had just kept a better watch over her. He sat staring at his Kami, his hand tangled in her’s. Tomoe caught a flutter of her eyes. “Perhaps you should go now, Tomoe” Otohiko gave him an urgent look. Before Tomoe could even release Nanami’s hand, her eyes locked on his. She glanced at her hand and wrenched it out of his grasp, scurrying backward till her back was flush with the wall. “Please! No! Noooo!” Nanami began to wail, slinking into a tight ball on the floor. “No no no no no no” that one word was just nonsensically pouring from her lips. Another wail opened the flood gates creating a noise so tragic it made Tomoe cringe in his soul. His body just wanted to comfort her, he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step forward “Nanami!” he cried. “It wasn’t me Nanami!” Her wail turned into a shriek when she saw him grow closer.  <br/> <br/>    He froze and crumpled on the floor, weeping, almost as incoherent as Nanami. Otohiko was overwhelmed by the task of both removing a devastated Tomoe and comforting a hysterical Nanami. He whispered a thank you to no one in particular when Kurama, having heard the commotion, came in and retrieved Tomoe, which proved to be no small feat. Tomoe’s resistance to leave left Kurama with a busted nose and too many scratched to count. “I am so sorry my friend.” Kurama contemplated the harrowing scene he had just dragged Tomoe from. Tomoe crumpled on the floor and Nanami curled in a ball wailing. He couldn’t begin to care about the injuries he had sustained. The discomfort he felt held no comparison. Kurama pushed Tomoe into his room, entered, and shut the door behind him, using his body as a blockade.  <br/> <br/>    Tomoe fell to his knees, doubling over, agonizing screams flooding the small space. When Tomoe seemed a little less feral, Kurama knelt and placed a hand on his shoulder. The fox surprised him when he wrapped his arms around the Tengu and wept bitterly into his chest. It took a moment but Kurama embraced Tomoe until the weeping had transitioned into small, exhausted sobs. “I promise you Tomoe, this will not be either you or Nanami’s undoing.” He continued the embrace. Any other time this type of contact with the fox would have been just weird and unnerving, but the Tengu was deriving a sort of comfort from the interaction. He could not stand how broken this powerful being was and Tomoe’s suffering had become tangible. Tomoe finally released Kurama. He sat on the floor and stared into a void. “I am going to grab some sake for us, my friend.” That term too felt strange rolling off Kurama’s tongue. He had always referred to Tomoe as “Fox”. If someone told him he would be embracing and comforting the fox just a few hours ago he would have boldly laughed in their face. The shift in their dynamic had played every heartstring Kurama possessed.  <br/> <br/>    He opened Tomoe’s door to yell for assistance and was nose to nose with a grateful yet shaken Mikage. Mikage had been outside the door since Kurama had slammed it shut. “Do you mind grabbing us some sake please?” Kurama requested. Then whispered, “And some sleeping powder I can dissolve in it?” Mikage nodded and disappeared. Kurama closed the door and returned his attention to the fox. Tomoe was still staring off into space, dazed. Kurama called to him “Fox, I will step out so you can get changed and clean up.” Tomoe pulled from his thoughts, glanced down at himself. He did not even realize he was still dressed in his robe from the incident. He looked at his hands. Dried blood…Nanami’s blood. He would have wept if he had any tears left. Instead, he pulled the robe and allowed it to fall to the floor. He stood in front of the washbasin and began to scrub the transgression away.  <br/> <br/>    Upon believing he had washed away every trace of the vile act he grabbed a clean robe, pulling it over his arms. His reflection in the mirror grabbed his attention. He could do nothing but stare at his it. Trailing from the bottom of his sculpted abs to his member was more dried blood. “Her maidenhood." This blood held more significance for him. He had imagined what it would be like to have Nanami surrender her virginity to him. Of course, it was only in the fantasy of his mind. He had imagined how sweet the moment would be. How he would gently make love to her and soothe any pain or discomfort she experienced. “Her purity, such a vile way to have it stolen away. Can I ever hope for her to forgive me?” He continued to stare at himself in the mirror feeling not quite a part of himself as a solitary tear rolled down his pale cheek.  <br/> <br/>    A knock sounded at the door prompting Tomoe to quickly pull his robe closed. Kurama entered carrying sake and rice balls. “Let’s drink.” he handed a cup to Tomoe. Tomoe accepted it and downed it in one gulp. “Kurama, I…I have no idea to deal with this pain. I beat and violated her…” Tomoe was cut short “You did no such thing!” Kurama gave Tomoe a stern look. “Akura-Oh beat and violated Nanami and he did in the cruelest way he could conceive. I will not allow you to take even a shred of responsibility for this Fox.” The Tengu handed Tomoe a second cup of sake. The fox drained it as quickly as he did the first. “I care for Nanami like a sister and I am heartbroken over what the two of you have endured. You were both the victims here Tomoe.” Tomoe could not think of himself as a victim in this. “What are you suggesting Kurama? That my suffering is equivalent to that of Nanami’s? You foolish Tengu!” Tomoe almost roared. </p><p>     “Easy Fox. I am just suggesting that you have both suffered and perhaps, for Nanami’s sake, you should not lose your grip on reality and the facts.” Kurama rubbed his temple with slender fingers, releasing a sigh. Tomoe blinked wide as if the thought of keeping himself together for her was new. The Tengu handed him another cup of sake and Tomoe gladly accepted it. He needed to dull the pain he was feeling and if he could not rip Akura-Oh’s head from his body then he would just drink the pain from the day away. It only took three cups of sake and the Tengu was tucking the Fox into his futon. “<em>Maybe we used too much sleeping powder?</em>”  Kurama thought to himself. Small snores were enough to assure Kurama that Tomoe was truly asleep. “Sleep well, my friend.” The Tengu whispered as he closed Tomoe’s door behind him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Tangled Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nanami and Tomoe begin to sort out their feelings with a little help from Otohiko.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not own Kamisama Hajimemashita.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>    Akura-Oh seethed with rage. It seeped out into the atmosphere of his bedroom. His Shiginami kept their distance. His white-knuckled hands gripped the sides of his desk. A roar ripped from his lips as he overturned the desk spilling the contents onto the floor. His plan had perfect. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"Fucking perfect!" </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “What the fuuuuck happened?!” The shiginami shrank back into the corner at their master’s rage. “Why did the ritual end so quickly?” Akura-Oh breathed an exasperated sigh.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    He was so close to completing his revenge. Moments before he was able to rip the land god’s throat out using Tomoe’s own hands, he had suddenly found himself back in this weak body. He calmed himself and allowed a tiny smile to pull at his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “It wasn’t the perfection I was hoping for but the Fox was still so very devastated.” He consoled himself. As soon as he recovered his body, that tiny delicate flower would be the first thing to be squashed out of existence. He would do it with his own hands this time.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    A quiet knock at the door brought him out of his daydream. “Kirihito, I am leaving your dinner. Just put the tray back out here when you have finished.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    It was still a few moments before he heard the tiny footsteps retreating down the hall. He sighed and retrieved the tray. He pushed it into the hands of one of his shiginami. Sighing, he walked toward the bed and collapsed. The ritual had been taxing on his human form and he needed rest.</span>
</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>
  <span>    A week had passed and the group was no closer to finding Akura-Oh. Nanami had left her room very little and Tomoe would disappear for days. He had not been able to bring himself to face Nanami after beholding the terror on her face when she first woke. Once, they had exited their rooms at the same time. He quickly averted his gaze from her and practically sprinted to the door of the shrine before she could utter a single word.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Nanami gazed up a ceiling from her futon. The sun had already been casting scattered rays of light for quite some time. “Can he ever come back to me.” Her thoughts twisted in her brain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    She had understood since the second day after her assault that Tomoe was not responsible. Yet, she knew it would still take her some measure of time to get that image of him out of her head. Still, she wanted to try. She felt a deep need to connect with him but he kept avoiding her. On the few occasions she had knocked on his door, she found it locked and her knocks went unanswered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Nanami was pulled from her thoughts by a light knock at the door. Otohiko peeked his head in and flashed her a smile “Honey, I am going to steal you for the morning. It is dreadfully drab in this room and I need some company. Mikage is so distracted he is no good at all. After all dear, I love the man, but fashion is just not his forte.” Before Nanami could protest he quickly disappeared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Nanami groaned and rolled out of bed, intent on finding something to wear. She stood in front of her closet, its contents reminding her she needed to purchase more pants. Most of her clothes were cute little dresses and skirts. Her mind was constantly warning her how easy her skirt had been ripped off. She had only two pairs of clean pants and she liked neither. She grabbed the pair that she hated the least. She then decided on a cami, shirt, and finally a blue button-up cardigan. She felt safer with more layers. Nanami dressed and quickly ran a brush through her hair. She gave herself a glance in the mirror and immediately wished she had avoided her sickly reflection. Sighing, she headed to the Living room in search of Otohiko.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    It was humiliating to her that she had lost so much weight. She had already been on the thin side. Now her clothes hung off her slight frame sparking the image of a scarecrow. Her appetite had just started to return but she found she was still unable to eat much. Nanami felt worn in her soul. She needed Tomoe so badly. She needed to hear him reassure her that she was going to make it through this. Hell, she would even be happy with one of his snarky comments. But the fox had been absent and that absence was beginning to chip away at what remained of her heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Otohiko, dressed in Nanami’s heart print apron, came from the direction of the kitchen and greeted her with a warm smile. “I have turned the deck into a cafe, Love. We'll be having brunch in five. “ Otohiko guided Nanami to the deck, fearing she might disappear back to her room. Once she was seated he gave her another smile and winked. “Back in a flash Babe!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    A few minutes passed, allowing Nanami to gaze out at grounds she had come to love. She swore she caught of glimpse of white but it disappeared so fast she could only conclude she had imagined it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Breaking her trance, Otohiko pranced out the door carrying a tray with plates of fluffy waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs, and sourdough toast. Nanami smiled as she knew he had to have interrogated the inhabitants of the shrine to find out her favorite breakfast foods. It smelled heavenly and looked beautiful. Otohiko was forever a perfectionist in all aspects. Her heart was warmed by this lovely gesture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Help yourself, Honey. Don’t wait for it to get cold.” He took the seat opposite her and began to fill his plate. She followed his lead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Mimosas?” He handed a glass of orange liquid. She took the glass, draining more quickly than she meant to. On her empty stomach, she could already feel the effects of the alcohol. She found she was enjoying the numbing effect that it produced.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “So Babe, tell me what is going on in that pretty little head of yours.” Otohiko’s hand gave a little flourish. Nanami was hesitant. She couldn't begin to grasp how to talk about what she was feeling or the dilemma of bridging the massive canyon between her and Tomoe. Otohiko could see that she was at a loss for words and pulled something from the side table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    He pushed the beautiful stationery in front of her. “Write it all down. The good. The painful. Be truthful. Just tell him how you feel. I will make sure your words reach him even if I have to tie him to a chair and recite your letter myself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Nanami had not considered putting all of her emotions into a letter. She would have done it much sooner had the idea occurred to her. She gratefully accepted the pen and paper. “Thank you so much for breakfast Otohiko. And... for this.” She hugged the stationary to her chest like it was the answer she had been seeking. A single tear threatened to escape her eye as Otohiko grasped her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Nanami sat at her desk. Thinking about writing this letter was so much simpler than actually writing it. All the feelings inside were so twisted she could not separate any of them into a coherent thought. Taking a deep breath, she calmed her mind. She could hear Otohiko’s words. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Write it all down. The good. The painful...” </span>
  </em>
  <span>With those considerations in mind, she began to write, pouring the wounds of her heart onto the elegant floral stationery. By the time she had finished an hour had passed, a strange sense of catharsis wrapping around her soul. Even if Tomoe never received the letter, this experience had felt essential in creating the opportunity to process her grief. </span>
  <span>She folded the letter and hugged it to her chest. “This is what I want to say to him. This is what I need him to hear.” The tears snaked down her cheeks. She felt lighter somehow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Nanami ate dinner in her room as she looked out the window. She had given the letter to Otohiko and desperately hoped that Tomoe would read her words and they would spark something, anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Tomoe sat in the tree examining the pretty piece of paper. He could not bring himself to read it just yet. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“How could anything in this letter be positive?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> With his gaze fixed on the letter, he closed his eyes, drew a breath, and began to unfold it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Tomoe,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you are in pain. You have been everything to me for so long. I hate what that monster has done to us. Yes, both of us. He has taken so much. My heart still feels like it is in pieces and I can’t see how it will ever feel whole again. I am so scared. I am scared to leave the shrine, to wear a skirt, to help a stranger. What kind of a god can’t see the path they were meant to follow?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>As heartbroken as I feel, the only thing I need is you. I need you, Tomoe. I need your strength and wisdom. I need the encouragement I find in you. I need to feel your presence in my life again. Please don’t leave me alone...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    Tomoe did not even finish reading the letter. He jumped from the tree and raced in the direction of the shrine, slowing only after he reached Nanami’s door. Chest heaving, hands shaking, he gave a knock on her door.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Healing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tomoe and Nanami reconnect after being estranged.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologize it has been so long between chapter updated.  I started this during lockdown and have had very little time since going back to work and living the single mom life to actually write.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     A loud knock jolted Nanami from her thoughts. She had been staring out of her window overlooking the garden brimming with varied hues of flowers that burst like a rainbow when the sun graced it. Right now it was muted in grays and whites bathed in the moon’s light. Her thoughts had been focused on only one thing. Tomoe. Her body gave way to a tremor at the loud sound filling her bedroom. She stared at the door, before finally realizing someone was knocking. </p><p> </p><p>     She closed the distance between her window and the door in seconds, pulling it open a crack. Peeking through the slight crack, all of the nervousness evaporated from her body. the sight was all her heart had been longing for. The tall slender figure ran a pale hand through his already disheveled white mane. “Nanami” the whisper of longing left his throat. “Tomoe.” Nanami’s voice was even more hushed than his. Nanami was still not convinced that this was real. She let the door swing open completely. </p><p> </p><p>     Her voice was unable to make a sound but her eyes told Tomoe everything he needed to know. He knew he had to approach her carefully. He wanted so badly to scoop her into his arms and never let go. He also knew this bold move could send her into hysterics. He held out a slender hand and waited for her to take it. Nanami stood frozen, gazing at the offered hand. Her eyes broke from his hand and traveled to his eyes. So much love was present in his tender gaze. At that moment Nanami leaped into Tomoe’s arms tangling her arms around his waist. “I thought I had lost you Tomoe!” She wept into his chest. “I can’t lose you! I have lost too much already!” A gentle hand brought Nanami’s chin up so their eyes could meet once again. “Can you ever forgive me, My Lady and Mistress…my Love?” Nanami responded by hugging Tomoe tighter. </p><p> </p><p>     He finally allowed himself to embrace her. Her warmth filled the void in his soul causing him to weep his unshed tears. “Do you permit me to embrace you like this, Nanami?” He managed. She gave him a small smile and nuzzled deeper into his embrace. That night he held Nanami in his arms till the sun began to peek over the horizon. She felt so small. She had always been on the small side but he could feel every bone in her frail body. Nanami had found a deep sleep in the safety of his arms, but he had not. Both relief and shame kept coming in tandem. </p><p> </p><p>     “I am so sorry Nanami.” He whispered into her chestnut hair. She raised her head with sleepy eyes. “What are you talking about?” She yawned. “For not protecting you. I know what happened in the warehouse was out of our control, but it should have never made it that far…” He felt Nanami shudder in his arms. “Are you well!” He bolted upright, raising her with him. “I am going to be fine, Tomoe.” She sighed. “I still have trouble getting those images of that night out my head sometimes.” Tomoe’s shoulders fell. “But that does not mean I don’t need you here, now, just like this. Last night was the first night I have truly slept without being drugged since that terrible night.” </p><p> </p><p>     Tomoe could not meet her gaze. “Please look at me Tomoe.” He raised his eyes and found such warmth in her beautiful brown eyes. “You must be honest with me about everything.” He leaned in placing his forehead on her’s. “You set the rules, Nanami. I will not touch you unless you ask. I fear we must be realistic about what we hope you are capable of and what you truly are. You have been through too much for me to cause you even more pain.” He leaned back to look into her eyes once more. “How did I get so lucky?” She smiled. Tomoe found he couldn’t smile back. “This is not how our love was supposed to unfold, Nanami.” He breathed a heavy sigh. “We rarely get what we want, Tomoe. You know this even better than I do.” She still held him with her warm gaze. “Tomoe, I want you to kiss me.” Tomoe’s head shot in her direction. </p><p> </p><p>     He began to protest and she quickly cut him off. “I set the rules. Is that not what you said? “ He turned to face her. His body was awkward and heavy. Far from the normal grace he usually exuded. He found he could not move any closer to her. “Will you permit me to ask you a favor Nanami?” She smiled in response. “Will you kiss me instead?” His eyes were locked on her’s and a delightful laugh escaped her mouth. Her tiny hand gently brushed the side of Tomoe’s cheek. He responded with a gasp. One light touch was all it took for her to make his heart feel full. Her hand snaked its way around his slender neck pulling him gently forward as she leaned in closer. She paused for a moment to see if there was any uncertainty in his eyes but she found a longing that mirrored her own lonely soul. Her soft small lips danced a feather-light dance against his own making Nanami feel flutters in her chest. </p><p> </p><p>     A small beam of happiness lit the early dawn gloom as her kiss grew slightly more forceful. Tomoe pulled back slightly and cupped her face in his warm slender hands. “I love you Nanami. With everything I am, I love you.” He pulled her toward him and rested his cheek against hers. “I will never let anything happen to you again.” He turned his head toward her feeling her warm breath on his face. His lips met her’s with gentleness as he slowly and softly kissed her over and over. They would be happy together despite all the cards being stacked against them. He would see to that. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Surprising Discovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tomoe and Nanami find out some upsetting news that will be yet another challenge for them overcome.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Obligatory: I do not own Kamisama Hajimemashita.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>      Nanami was happy. Emotions of brokenness and fear were slowly being replaced with love and, dare she believe, hope for the future. Her days, though not normal, had taken on a glimmer of the excitement she once felt before her heart had known such terror. Still, she had nagging nightmares and would have the feeling someone was watching her. Nanami knew it was likely her imagination, as Mikage had erected a strong barrier around the shrine. He had also resumed all of his land god duties while Nanami took the time to heal. Finding her way out of the dark was her only “job” right now.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      Nanami let her eyes skim over Tomoe’s form. He was unmoving beside her, one arm draped over her stomach. His long white hair spilled over the side of his face, revealing his slender graceful neck. He was the most beautiful thing she could imagine. He was always so fearful now. He was trying so hard but she could see how much guilt he had placed on his shoulders. Nanami felt asudden wave of nausea crash over her. Her attempt to untangle herself from Tomoe’s arm was unsuccessful and she couldn’t keep the vomit from rising. Tomoe startled, bolted up. “Nanami, are you not well?” A panicked hand shot out to feel her forehead not giving a second thought to the pool of vomit. “I just felt sick” She answered in a nonchalant tone, hoping Tomoe would not add this to his list of worries. “I will retrieve Mikage. He needs to examine you to be absolutely sure you are not seriously ill.” He held up a hand to quiet the protest he knew was coming. “For me, please?” He gave her a small smile. Nanami nodded and Tomoe hurried from the room. She had barely had time to change and brush her teeth before Tomoe burst back in dragging a sleepy-looking Mikage behind him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      Tomoe paced back and forth as Mikage performed his examination. Tomoe was quick to answer every question Mikage asked. Mikage gave Tomoe a look that said “You are not helping.” And Tomoe took a breath and announced he would be back with some water for Nanami.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “Now Nanami, since we no longer have an audience, I need to ask you something very personal. How long has it been since your last cycle?” Nanami’s eyes widened in shock. How could she not have noticed that she missed her period? “Two weeks before the warehouse.” She dropped her head and tears slid down her cheeks. She stared down at her hands, knuckles white from the intensity of her grip. “<em> Just when things were starting to feel normal… just when I thought….”  </em>Her thoughts were interrupted by Tomoe nudging her with the glass of water in hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “What is wrong Nanami? Mikage, is her illness truly that serious?” Fear was spread wide on Tomoe’s face. Mikage raised a hand to signal the delicacy of the situation.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “Nanami, would you permit me to speak with Tomoe regarding what we have discovered?” Mikage’s voice was gentle and gave her some measure of comfort. She nodded her head, not able to speak for fear she would burst into tears.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “Perhaps we should speak in the hall to give Nanami a moment?” Mikage’s question was a statement not easily mistaken for a request. Tomoe reluctantly followed Mikage to the door giving one last glance at Nanami who was still staring into her lap as if she was oblivious to anything around her.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “Speak Mikage!” Tomoe barked, only barely able to control the rage and fear buzzing through his body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “Take a breath Tomoe.” Against what he felt, Tomoe did this and prepared himself to hear what Mikage had to say.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “Nanami is with child.” Mikage decided a direct approach was best for this circumstance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>      Tomoe froze. This was not at all what he was expecting. “How can Nanami be with Child? She has never even had a mate?” He practically screamed. Slowly, the picture began to come into focus. “I… but… it was once Mikage! One grievous moment! You… you can’t…It can’t…”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      Mikage laid his hand on Tomoe’s shoulder. “Do you know what this means, Tomoe?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “I…. I am going to be a father.” His voice was a sad whisper. “<em> How could all of the first moments be stolen from us like this. A child should be born from love, not rape.”  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “She will need your strength, Tomoe.” Mikage’s voice brought him back from thoughts of darkness and pain.  </p>
<p>A bewildered Tomoe said nothing and turned to the door of the room he and Nanami had been sharing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>      “You will need her strength as well,” Mikage said as he turned to leave. “She is stronger than you know, Tomoe.”</p>
<p>Tomoe paused before turning the handle of the door. “I know.” Was all he could muster as a reply.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Discovery of Joy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tomoe and Nanami wade through the feelings of discovering they will be parents.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know the chapters are getting shorter, but the only way I have found to have time to write is tiny bite-sized pieces lol.  Sincere thanks to those who have left comments and kudos!  (I do not own Kamisama Hajimemashita.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>      Tomoe walked back into the bedroom to find Nanami staring out the window. Her countenance had changed. Instead of the lost fearful person he left moments before, he found a person contemplative and calm. She turned to look at him, a small smile pulling at her thin mouth. “This will be okay, Tomoe.” He didn't realize how much he needed to hear that from her. His only concern was her. He wished only for her happiness. He breathed out a heavy sigh, releasing the built-up anxiety. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      “This is our child, no matter how it happened.” She continued. “It took me a moment to get through the shock, But, Tomoe, don’t you see? Something beautiful can be created out of something so gruesome.” Tomoe could not help but give her a warm smile and wrap her in his arms. His slender hands stroked her back as he breathed in the scent of her soft, chestnut hair. She was always able to surprise him. She was a treasure he did not deserve, yet here she was. His. Beautiful, kind, and as Mikage had just reminded him, Strong. She was his perpetual optimist.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>       “Nanami.” He continued to caress her back as he spoke, feeling her body melt into his. “Um.” She cooed. “Once again, you have the right of the situation. You, my Lady, are strong. Words can not express how grateful I am that it is you who will be the mother of my child.” Tomoe eased a slender finger under her chin lifting her beautiful face to his. He planted a gentle kiss on her mouth. “I do love you, Nanami.” He breathed out all of his fear and anxiety and breathed in the love he felt radiating from his soul mate.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      “I know. I love you too.” She said with the sweetest smile he had ever seen. “Tomoe, we are going to be parents. We are going to have a baby….Uh…” Nanami looked concerned, the smile disappearing from her face.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      “Nanami, what is wrong?” Tomoe encouraged her to speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      “How does this work? You are not human. Are there cases of Yoki and humans having healthy children? What if our baby is not healthy Tomoe?” He could see the worry growing on her face and now that it had been brought to his attention, it was quite concerning to him as well. “We will find all the answers we need. Please do not worry yourself right now.” He said pulling her in for another embrace as the doubt began to weave its way into his mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What if our child does not thrive. This is a balance of nature that has been upset. I must talk with Mikage”. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The thoughts poured into his mind as he stood, holding her, hoping for the best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      In that hope, he had the sudden need to give her everything she wanted. He was her’s and always would be. But at that moment He needed to show her how much she meant to him. “Nanami.” He said pulling back from the embrace. Nanami tilted her head to one side and gave a tiny nod. “Would you do me the honor of being my wife?” His smile reached for his ears as he could not contain how much happiness this thought brought him. He could see that same happiness dancing in those lovely brown eyes he loved so much.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      “Nothing would make me happier, Tomoe!” She practically yelled. The two lovers embraced caught up in the passion of the moment. Tomoe pulled away first. “We should slow down, Love. I want the first time I truly make love to you to be after we are wed.” He gave her a coy smile and pulled her close wanting to weep from the happiness that was shaking him at his core. Nanami gave him a shy smile “After we wed. I love the sound of that.”</span>
</p>
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